Your Inner Conversations Shape Your Outer World

A personal story

A few years ago, as a hungry student of intentional manifesting, I knew how to choose what I wanted to experience and then visualize it. Visualization is, and has always been, easy for me. I’ve also scripted my desires as if I were writing about them in a diary and I’ve done imaginal acts (all explained in this post).

What I struggled with was how to live in the end during the rest of my day. I would focus on the things I wanted rather than focus on how I would feel as if they were already in my physical experience. I wanted a house and focused on the house, not what it would feel like to be living in the house. I tried to pretend I was living in said dream house but that made me feel delusional and created resistance. I didn’t know how to live in the end until recently.

Manifesting coaches tell you to choose, and live in, your desired state. I thought I was because it felt so real when I visualized it. But I was being double-minded and I didn’t even realize it.

Here’s one example of how I used to be double-minded:

I knew exactly what kind of house I wanted and visualized it so real that my visualizations felt like actual memories. In my visuals, I’d focus on living there in first-person. I’d imagine decorating for the holidays, having friends and family over for dinner, and how it felt overall to be living there.

At the time, I was living in a smoke-free apartment complex and the neighbor right below me was a smoker. He would sit on his balcony and his cigarette smoke would waft into my office all throughout the day. It would make me so angry. I would focus on how angry I was and how much I wanted a different living situation. I’d call the apartment manager and complain. They would send emails to all the tenants saying that it wasn’t legal to smoke on the premises. My neighbor ignored the emails. I’d keep calling the office and eventually gave up because nothing was being done. That made me angrier. I’d complain about it to friends and family.

Here are a few thoughts/affirmations that ran through my head when I was angry:

I hate living here. F that guy. I hate him. He’s so selfish. He’s making my life miserable. I hate living in an apartment. I want a house but I’m stuck in this crappy apartment. IT’S NOT FAIR!!!!

It wasn’t a crappy apartment but my anger–my overall state of being–was all about hating where I lived. I felt justified for being angry which kept me in anger. I was resisting my circumstances. What you resist, persists. My focus was on what I didn’t want and what I didn’t like about my life. The more I dwelled in anger, the more time I spent being angry.

My neighbor smoked every day, multiple times a day. Each time I had to close my window because of him, I would feel anger and would launch into my angry affirmations.

When I was calm, I’d spend some time visualizing what I wanted–living in the end…feeling it real, but when I was triggered by something in my 3D reality, I’d go all in. I’d be angry that my visualizing wasn’t working and I doubted my power. My persistent anger kept me in anger. The more anger I felt, the more anger I felt. I didn’t realize I was choosing to feel angry.

I would dwell in my chosen misery. I say chosen because it was a choice. I spent more of my waking hours dwelling on what I didn’t want and my fear that I wouldn't get what I wanted because my manifesting techniques were failing (spoiler: they weren’t ) than focusing on the life I preferred. My state of being was of someone who was trying to manifest a house, but failing. That is how I identified. That was my state.

Eventually, I realized that I was resisting my reality and choosing to live in anger, so I chose to stop.

Here’s what that looked like:

I’d be doing my thing and I’d smell his cigarette smoke in my office. I didn’t like it, so I closed the window. I knew I had a choice. I could keep resisting and dwelling in anger or I could accept what was happening even though I didn’t like it. I accepted it and I chose not to think angry thoughts about my circumstances. I was not yet “lazy affirming” (which was what changed everything for me–explained in step three of this post), but I decided that I would no longer resist it. I closed the window and opened it again in ten minutes when the air was clear and smoke-free. I didn’t like it, but I accepted it.

I decided that somehow, some way, the situation would be resolved.

Several months later, he moved. He’d been a long-time tenant.

I’m not taking the credit and saying I manifested his move. Maybe I did. Maybe I didn’t. Not even the point, but I want to emphasize that I decided to stop persisting in anger. It was a choice. Eventually, it resolved and I was satisfied. But even before he moved, I was no longer living in anger about that situation–because I chose to not be angry. My mood improved and I felt happier and more content overall.

We always have a choice in how we react. When I simply chose to close the window and focus on whatever I was doing at that moment instead of working myself up in anger, I stopped being double-minded. It was a decision. It was easy. I am not my emotions and they don’t control me. I allow myself to feel whatever I feel but I now refuse to stay in it and dwell unnecessarily. Emotional states pass. They always do.

You cannot occupy two states at once. Your state of being–how you identify–is what manifests in your physical reality.

It’s not about being delusional, it’s about choosing where to focus your attention. If there’s nothing in the 3D that you can do about what’s stressing you out, you always have the power of your imagination.

That cigarette story happened a few years ago. Since then I’ve been practicing controlling my internal dialogue. We all have one, and we all affirm what we believe all the time. Many of us are affirming what we don’t want and we don’t realize it.

I now proactively think from the state of the desire fulfilled–that I’m happy and satisfied with my life. I insert those thoughts. I’m in control of what I’m affirming rather than letting my thoughts run on auto-pilot. I take the power. (Again, explained here in step three.)

I’ll leave you with these Neville Goddard quotes and video.

"I am the creator of my reality."

"My imagination is the workshop where I shape my future."

"What I assume, I become."

"My inner conversations shape my outer world."

"I'm already that which I desire to be."